GENERAL GUIDE FOR FUNERAL
Lunar calendar first year dates are traditional glad days of the people and they have very holy meaning. A family must puts aside what sorrowful themselves in order to be in harmony with the gladness of the whole people. Therefore, there is a tradition to store mourning clothing front-wear in these three days. A family has a big funeral then fears to go out for wishes for lunar calendar first years dates and longevity. In the contrary, neighbors need to visit to say wishes and console families in misery. In case family members die when the lunar calendar first year days are coming and those families if can manage then bury before the new year comes, if postponing to the next year there will be many inconveniences. Great part of families fear not to postpone to the first year day and if the death occurs right on this day, mourning clothing will not be delivered but everything is to prepare for the ceremony of mourning clothing to be carried out on the second day of the new year.
" "Birth limited, death time unknown": life goes with limitation but no one can know when he or she will die. Ritual shows that when there is a funeral in a family, especially big one, every party must be avoided. However, wedding ceremony is arranged completely, if too strict, families of both sides will be tense, especially when both families' members are old, sometimes to wait for seven and eight years later, the funeral still lasts.
This is why there is a tradition: 'marriage concealing funeral' which means to hurry to make marriage ceremony even death home. Then the deceased is temporarily put on a bed, covered with blanker, no shroud or shroud ceremony done but not mourning clothing one (ritual regulates, no one can drop to tear before mourning clothing ceremony.) Neighbours learn but when there is no mourning clothing delivery, they cannot visit (except blood relatives and those are closed day and night with the family, considered as family member.) Meanwhile, both family hurry to prepare marriage, sufficient ceremonies are done like bride walking to, bride acceptance, ancestor announcements, dodder marriage tie… but ceremonial offering things are very simple, narrowed in the limitation of family and some relatives. Attendee and friend even invited now are exempted, sympathy will follows.
Marriage in a family and funeral in a next door. Those who learn politeness and are kind will never smile and show happiness in front of sad and sorrowful situation of others. In this case, marriage is carried out however, but noiseless, too loud in order not to be in a situation that one cries, other smiles.
Either close or just knowing, once to visit to attend funeral, we have to be serious, showing respectful frank heart to the deceased. Besides, funeral often lasts two or three days, meal and beverage are what hard to avoid but it is better to eliminate within those who come to help and relatives from afar. For neighbours, friends… funeral is not an opportunity to repay 'mouth debt', therefore better to control oneself, if you can do a things as to help, try with dedication, if not convenient to return home for meal, better not to insist upon, reproach as old habit 'Blaming funeral, reproaching marriage' for there is nothing good. When attending funeral, wear what not colorful, not solemn… necessary to be serious and gentle.
Meeting funeral on the way. For funeral in opposite direction, whatsoever hurrying, we have to leave way for the funeral to pass by, the polite even take their hats out to bow their heads. In the contrary, the funeral caravan move seriously, orderly, with good arrangement and follow traffic order.
Many confess that they feel the newly deceased cold much more than normal temperature of human as well as of surrounding environment. The event cold odour in the house of the newly deceased is real, event that suffers cold odour and get sick is rather spreading, especially for those who suffer chronic diseases, high blood pressure… and for those who are healthy, there is no affect at all.
To prevent therefore, aged persons and pregnants of eminent birth, infants… to be at present at shroud. The smoking tradition mainly to prevent those who may absorb cold odour. The tradition requires other must go smoking then possibly going into the house, neighbours of funeral house often at the door a coal burnt with grapefruit shell and gleditsia to exempt bad gas. Funeral attendees can prevent cold odour by means of mouth-hold fresh ginger, drink oleaster leaf… before and after visiting funeral.